1. I Will Talk And Hollywood Will Listen

I wouldn't be so alone if they knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy
Come back to the old five and dime
Cameron Diaz give me a sign
I'll make you smile all the time
And your conversation would compliment mine

 

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow at my every word
Mr Spielberg look what you're missing
And doesn't that seem a little absurd
Bow at my every word

Buy up the rights to my book
And I'll live on a ranch from what the box office took
I'll go and visit the set
They'll call me their saviour
Oh how the papers will scorn
Celebrity lives on the moon
But I'll be back home in June
To promote the sequel

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow at my every word
Mr Spielberg see just what you're missing
Doesn't that seem a little absurd
Bow at my every word

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2. Mack The Knife

Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
Just a jack knife has MacHeath, dear
And he keeps it out of sight

 

When the shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves though wears MacHeath, dear
So there's not a trace of red

On the sidewalk, Sunday morning
Lies a body oozing life
Someone's sneaking round the corner
Is the someone Mack the knife?

From a tug boat by the river
A cement bag's dropping down
The cement's just for the weight, dear
Bet you Mack is back in town

Louie Miller disappeared, dear
After drawing out his cash
And MacHeath spends like a sailor
Did our boy do something rash?

Sukey Tawdry, Jenny Diver
Polly Peachum, Lucy Brown
Oh the line forms on the right, dear
Now that Mack is back in town

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3. Somethin' Stupid

I know I stand in line,
until you think you have the time
to spend an evening with me

 

And if we go some place to dance
I know that there's a chance
you won't be leaving with me

And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
and have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
by saying something stupid like,
"I love you"

I can see it in your eyes
that you despise the same old lies
you heard the night before

And though it's just a line to you
for me it's true
it never seemed so right before

I practice everyday
to find some clever lines to say
to make the meaning come true

But then I think I'll wait
until the evening gets late
and I'm alone with you

The time is right
your perfume fills my head
the stars get red
and oh, the night's so blue

And the I go and spoil it all
by saying something stupid like,
"I love you"

The time is right ....

And then I go and spoil...

"I love you" (3x)

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4. Do Nothing Till You Hear From Me

Do nothing till you hear from me,
Pay no attention to what's said.
Why people tear the seams of anyone's dreams
Is over my head.

 

Do nothing till you hear from me,
At least consider our romance.
If you should take the words of others you've heard,
I haven't a chance.

True, I've been seen with someone new,
But does that mean that I've been untrue?
When we're apart,
The words in my heart
Reveal how I feel about you.

Some kiss may cloud my memories,
And other arms may hold a thrill,
But please, do nothing till you hear it from me--
And you never will.

~interlude~

Some kiss may cloud my memories,
And other arms may hold a thrill,
But please, do nothing till you hear it from me--
And you never will.

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5. It Was A Very Good Year

When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one

 

When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five

But now the days grow short
I'm in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

It was a mess of good years

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6. Straighten Up And Fly Right

The buzzard took the monkey for a ride in the air
The monkey thought that everything was on the square
The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off his back
The monkey grabbed his neck and said "Now listen, Jack"

"Straighten up and fly right"
"Straighten up and fly right"
"Straighten up and fly right"
"Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."
"Ain't no use in jivin' "
"What's the use in dabbin' "
"Straighten up and fly right"
"Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."

The buzzard told the monkey "You're chokin' me"
"Release your hold and I'll set you free"
The monkey looked the buzzard right dead in the eye and said
"Your story's fetchin' but it sounds like a lie"

"Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and do right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."

(instrumental interlude)

"Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and do right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top."

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7. Well, Did You Evah ?

Have you heard, among this clan,
I am called "The forgotten man"?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard the story of
Dexter boy being gypped by love?
Well, did you evah!
What a swell party this is!
What frails, what frocks!
What furs, what rocks!
What gaiety!
It's all too exquis!
That French champagne!
So good for the brain!
That band, it's the end!
Kindly don't fall down, my friend,
Have you heard? Professor Munch
Ate his wife and divorced his lunch.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard? The countess Krupp
Crossed the bridge when the bridge was up.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!

 

Chorus

Have you heard that Mimsie Starr
Just got pinched in the Astor bar?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that Uncle Newt
Forgot to open his parachute?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
It's great, it's grand!
It's wonderland!
What soup, what fish!
That beef, what a dish!
That grouse, so rare!
That old camembert!
That baba au rhum!
Will you please move over, chum?
Have you heard the poor dear Blanche
Got run down by an avalanche?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard? It's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!

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8. Mr Bojangles

I knew a man Bojangles and he danced for you in worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants, the old soft shoe
He jumped so high, he jumped so high,
Then he lightly touched down

 

I met him in a cell in New Orleans, I was - down and out
He looked at me to be the eyes of age as he spoke right out
He talked of life, he talked of life, he laughed, slapped his leg a step

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

He said his name, Bojangles, then he danced a lick across the cell
He grabbed his pants a better stance, oh, he jumped up high,
Then he clicked his heels
He let go a laugh, he let go a laugh,
Shook back his clothes all around

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

He danced for throws at minstrel shows and county fairs
Through out the south
He spoke with tears of fifteen years how his dog and him
Had traveled about
His dog up and died, he up and died, after twenty years he still grieves

He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks
For drink and tips
But most of the time I spend behind these county bars
'Cause I drinks a bit'
He shook his head and as he shook his head
I heard someone ask him `Please'
Please ..........

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

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9. One For My Baby

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I know the routine, put another nickel
In the machine
I feel kind of bad, can't you make the music
Easy and sad
I could tell you a lot, but it's not
In a gentleman's code
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
You'd never know it, but buddy I'm a kind of poet
And I've got a lot of things I'd like to say
And if I'm gloomy, please listen to me
Till it's talked away
Well that's how it goes, and Joe I know your gettin'
Anxious to close
Thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind
My bending your ear
But this torch that I found, It's gotta be drowned
Or it's gonna explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road

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10. Things

Ev'ry night I sit here by my window (window)
Starin' at the lonely avenue (avenue)
Watching lovers holdin' hands 'n' laughin' (laughin')
And thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

 

Chorus :
(Thinkin' of things) Like a walk in the park
(Things) Like a kiss in the dark
(Things) Like a sailboat ride
(Yeah-yeah) What about the night we cried?
Things like a lover's vow
Things that we don't do now
Thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

 

Memories are all I have to cling to (cling to)
And heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to (talkin' to)
When I'm not thinkin' of-a just how much I love you (love you)
Well, I'm-a thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

Chorus

 

I still can hear the jukebox softly playin' (playin')
And the face I see each day belongs to you (belongs to you)
Though there's not a single sound and there's nobody else around
Well, it's-a just me thinkin' of the things we used to do

Chorus

 

And the heartaches are the friends I'm talkin' to
Ya got me thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

Fade

Starin' at the lonely avenue

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